Flying Dry

In the waves of dysfunction, I am stepping out.

This thought came to me this morning as I thought about the journey of my own life and the journeys of others.  Often we have to watch our loved ones struggle through turmoil and heartbreak: being witness to the unsettling dilemma of knowing when to speak and when to be silent.  Sometimes that turmoil is in our own hearts, pulling and pushing us to do the unthinkable or the uncomfortable.

It’s not easy to put a hand up and say “I’ve had enough” or “I want better”.  It rocks us.  It rocks everything and everyone around us.  It feels selfish to those who are givers, who are used to sacrifice. Finding that balance between self-love and being selfish is no easy task.  Families of origin may not be healthy.  Friends may be disappointing.  Jobs may be unsatisfying.  Relationships may be toxic.  We may not even be consciously aware that we aren’t getting what we need. Sometimes we are…and we ignore it.

When we care about other people’s feelings, backing away is the last thing that crosses our mind.  We don’t want to hurt anyone…and yet if we stay in it, we harm ourselves.  While we  continue living in chaos, unpredictability or stress, our bodies take a beating.  Most of the time we aren’t even aware of it until it interrupts our daily lives: chronic illness, sensitivities, disease, financial issues, legal issues, etc.

I recently read a book about an American and a guru.  There was a concept I read that really stuck with me:

the music of the divine is always playing though we cannot hear it if we do not rid ourselves of the noise.

The noise is what I’m talking about: other people’s noise.  We’ve got enough noise of our own to deal with.  Taking on someone else’s makes it worse.  How do we find that balance?  How do we stand up for ourselves and make our life better?  How do we stand back and watch while our loved ones dabble in dysfunction?

We detach with love.  We offer hugs.  We listen.  We do not lecture.  We share our own humbling experiences.   We give advice only to those who ask of it.  We don’t take things personally.  We reach out and check in.  We give just to the boundary of what we can handle so that we don’t lose ourselves in the process.  We do not project our own ideals onto others but rather live the example of our own ideals.   We run a life of attraction, not promotion.  We live our word.  We connect with positive people in our lives.  We remind ourselves that we are worthy of love and attention in the way that we need it, not what’s landed in our lap or handed to us by someone else.

I didn’t learn this until I was 35.  I’m still practicing.  I still don’t always get it right.

My beautiful mother suffered as a result of life’s tragedies and disappointments.  Without her, and her journey, I would not be who I am today.  I learned, from her, many things: keep my face to the sun, never give up, and fly towards my dreams no matter what anyone tells me.

I am Libra, hear me SOAR!