My bones were still warm from lying on the sand. My breath slow and relaxed. My toes were buried in a deep grainy embrace. My eyelids glowed red from the inside. I should’ve worn a hat. I could hear small waves licking the shore, trying to carry each tiny seashell or grain of sand into oblivion. An occasional splash not far away…a reminder that the pelicans were hunting. The smell of dry air and dust fill my nostrils. I was comfortable as each part of my body gave away to the sand below. I had nowhere to be, no one to be, and it was bliss.
The wind howled. Less than 24 hours prior, I’d worn very little and baked in the sun on a beautiful southern beach. I tried to muster up that same warm feeling in my bones… like maybe if I thought it, it might come true. But the wind… how it snatched my efforts away like a thief on the run. In the distance, white patches glowed on the hillside…reminders that winter is still lurking in the shadows. I shouldn’t forget my sweater today. I watched my dog search for just the right blade of grass to satisfy her culinary taste for vegetables: a preference she’s had since she was a puppy. Each blade of grass was covered in dew drops, and I wondered if these changed the taste, and if she cared. I walked slowly, allowing my her to detect the presence of others who came before her. Today I didn’t hurry her, even though my bones started to shake. I was grateful for the slow pace – a reminder from my visit to the sea. I felt a pang of loneliness . I lifted my eyes to the east and noticed the sunrise beginning to cross over the New York mountains, like a message from a good friend, reminding me “oh honey, you are never alone“.
I am lucky to notice these things, the contrast between the days, and the parallel experiences I can’t ignore. I nod with gratitude, …but mostly because my dog has decided to take us back to our warm home.
Just a girl 